How do I Deal with Annoying Co-Worker?

I had to deal with some annoying colleagues lately. Many of us spent a large proportion of our time at work during our adult lives. We also handle or cope with anger differently due to our personality types-the Type A and B personality types proposed by a pair of cardiologists researching the causes of coronary disease, Meyer Friedman and RH Rosenman in the 1950's. Click to find out more.Sometimes your coworker/s can be nourishing with their attitude others are not. Particularly that person/persons who test your last nerve!; infecting you with toxic attitude. I know, you can relate with that either from work, family or social environment.

Remember that no matter what industry or setting you work conflict is inevitable, unless you work for and by yourself. It can arise between co-workers, supervisors and subordinates or between employees and external stakeholders, such as target groups, customers, suppliers and regulatory agencies. While workplace conflict can usually be resolved among workers, other times management or human resources must help solve the problem, or they

are involved in the conflict themselves.

To cope with daily dose of  toxic behaviors some begin avoiding or tolerating the situation/person. At other times, you just loose it and let out all those well up resentment,become confrontation and damn the consequences for responding in an "uncivil" way in a corporate environment. 

Causes of Office Conflict

• Personality; One of the biggest causes of workplace conflict is personality issues. For many people, it can be easy to mistake a co-worker’s mannerisms or attitude and become offended
• Leadership; Personality clashes between managers and subordinates can cause a range of interpersonal conflicts to arise. Employees may feel bullied or pushed by more authoritarian managers, or may perceive a lack of guidance from more hands-off managers.
• Responsibility; reprimanded for failing to do job
• Incompetent Management 
• Performance-Review Conflicts 
• Lack of Resources 
• Lack of Information

6 Communication Strategies for Managing Conflict

1. Accommodating Approach;  emphasizes cooperation instead of assertiveness. A person places his interests last and allows the other party to further her interests. The accommodating approach often occurs when a party is not significantly invested in securing a victory, because he does not perceive the alternative option as a significant threat
   
   
   
   
2. Avoiding; Avoiding conflict involves one of the conflicted parties avoiding communicating about or confronting the problem, hoping it will go away. By not participating in the problem-solving process, she is effectively removing herself from it. When employing this approach, the conflict might go away if the other party doesn't press for a resolution. The underlying differences between the parties are never resolved.
3. Collaborating; style involves parties working together to resolve issues, and both sides come to the table with win-win attitudes. It is a favorable negotiation style in formal dispute resolution situations, such as mediation, where the parties employee a mediator but must agree on the final, binding resolution.
4. Compromising; Bargaining is the hallmark of the compromise approach to conflict resolution. The conflicting parties can identify some interests they are willing to compromise on to bring about a resolution. While the emotional level might still be high, the compromise style sometimes results in interim solutions when a full resolution is not immediately possible. Parties might reach a settlement to prevent further escalation of the conflict.
5. Confronting; Learning to manage feelings of anger in a constructive, professional way at the office can help you channel your frustration and get what you want -- without earning you a reputation as the person in the office who can’t control their temper.\
6. Constructive

Constructive Tips for Managing Provocation at Work

• Do not Fight The Feeling – When anger arises, we’re often quick to respond by rationalizing, blaming others or trying desperately to calm ourselves down. 
• Instead of jumping straight to intellectualization, acknowledge that your anger is legitimate and normal. Anger is deeply embedded into our evolutionary code. It’s how we fend off dangers and threats to our well being. 
• The next time you feel yourself getting angry, understand that trying to simply avoid it won’t help. Find a way instead to release or disarm your anger in a healthily and respectful way . 
• Try telling yourself, “What I am feeling is natural, but it doesn’t serve me.” Accepting your reaction – rather than fighting it – will calm you down and free you to focus on problem solving.

Disrupt It

u  If your temper is about to boil over, the first thing you need to do is find a way to disrupt the automatic thought pattern that's been triggered. Physically disconnecting from the situation can help: Take a walk, step away from your desk to call a friend or take a few deep breaths.

u  Practicing visualizations is another tactic that can help you manage anger in the long run. Picture yourself when you’re reacting to your anger. How do you look, feel and sound? Do you like this image of yourself?

Learn your Triggers

u  Understanding who and what makes you angry is key to heading off a full-blown freak out. Pay attention to the circumstances and people present when you get angry so you can better anticipate and manage your reactions  in the future.

u  For example, if one particular colleague pushes your buttons, build in breaks during times when you know you’ll have to work together. This will give you space to disrupt any rising emotions that crop up if he provokes you and will help you avoid a hair-trigger reaction. No one likes being angry, so by anticipating triggering situations you can stay calm and collected.

Choose your Words Carefully 

 If and when you do decide to confront the situation that’s making you angry head-on, be sure you’ve first spent some time identifying and articulating your feelings.

 Emotional Labeling is important because it can minimize miscommunication and help you clearly assert your thoughts, opinions and desires.

  Speak to your line manager/supervisor on  whoever is upsetting you the way they would like to be communicated with..

As a manager, ask them to describe the situation from their perspective as well to keep the lines of communication open and even.

Focus on the Solution not the Problem 

While it’s easy—and can initially seem comforting – to dwell on what’s making you angry, this isn’t going to pay off in the long run. Ruminating is damaging because it takes time and mental energy away from problem-solving, leaving you stuck in negative emotion.

   Instead, focus on what lessons you can learn from the situation so that you move on in a productive way.

Avoid making sweeping statements like, “Whenever Paul asks me for reports, he never gives me enough notice.” 

Instead, try saying, “I was late on a deadline because I was asked for the reports at the last minute. I’ve noticed that this has happened in the past. How can we put a better protocol in place to make sure it doesn’t happen in the future?”

Finally, note that these tips are easy to mentally adopt bu may be harder to practice, so do not beat yourself up over failing-just try again and again. With self discipline you will come around. On the other hand, would you like to six(6) extremely difficult or toxic personalities and how to deal with them at work? Find out in the next article. By the way happy world mental health health(10th October). Guess what the theme is?